dancingdragon3: (abed self esteem)
So, I've finally gotten eclipse fever. I'll be honest, at first I was put off by all the hoopla, due to what I consider hypocrisy coming from many of my fellow Americans. Remember, this is the country where at least a third of the population still denies climate change, evolution, dinosaurs, and other basic scientific 'facts'. So to see so many people get excited about a celestial event, one that has been predicted to happen due to the privilege of scientific knowledge, kinda leaves me cold. But that's their cognitive dissonance to reconcile. In the spirit of my positive trip driving up to High Point, I am going to use it  as an opportunity to explore more of my new home state and hopefully have a meaningful spiritual experience. 

But first...where to watch it? Columbia, SC is going to be a major circus, with extra cops, state troopers, etc. So, not going that way. I compared the path of the eclipse with a local map, and came up with a town two hours away called Traveler's Rest (isn't that a great name?), north of Greenville, SC. I'll have to leave the interstate and take a highway to get there. Which is part of the point.

There is a big party there in a park, which I'll drive by. But if the crowd is too big, I'm just going to find a Walmart or Target to park in to watch it. I'm very excited. Planning to borrow my manager's cooler again, and make a whole adventure of it. A quick investigation came up with an old rail road called Swamp Rabbit Trail, that's apparently inspired the names of at least one local bar and a green-way that goes to Greenville. So...fuck yeah, right? That is why I still love to be from the South. Where else are there place names like Swamp Rabbit Trail? 

And that's about all I have the energy to report right now. I hope everyone is having a good week! 
dancingdragon3: (tara_pentagram)
Trigger warning: sexual assault as entertainment

Had an appointment with a new doctor yesterday. You know what that means...new med time! Who says the seventies are over? They so aren't. Just get your mystery pills from docs and they're even tax deductible. This one might be a keeper though. 

Now, I went in determined to be firm, and stay on just the Sertraline and Buspar. No new sleep zombie meds. But darn it, this new doctor seemed so competent, and has the motto that the patient should have the main say in their med dispensation, that I took another chance, and mentioned wanting sleep meds that would be covered under my insurance and tax deductible. My herbal sleep aids aren't because they aren't prescribed. It's only 250$ a year, but still. 

Read more... )
dancingdragon3: (tara_pentagram)
For friends and visitors new to me, I moved away from my hometown for the first time a little over ten years ago. Though I did travel a lot in my teens and twenties, I had never been away from Knoxville for more than three weeks at a time. I’ll be 44 this summer. Since about six months after moving here, I have had serious issues with homesickness, including nightmares, a spike in generalized and social anxiety/agoraphobia, depression, and a hard to explain mental mapping issue.

One of the things I’ve been doing recently to counteract the homesickness is to find places in Charlotte where I will be comfortable going to on a regular basis, similar to places in Knoxville I would visit regularly. Besides bookstores, movie theatres, and restaurants, ‘pagan shops’ fall in this category big time. So, while on an unexpected break from work, I went to a small pagan shop in the same neighborhood as my job.
Read more... )
dancingdragon3: (terror_hear no evil)
Holy cow, my head is killing me. No idea why. I shouldn't be hung over, and it's not sinus related. But it's been bugging me since late last night. But that's nothing to the insane dream I had. I've been having better dreams lately, like a couple nights ago, I finally got to Dragon Con on time, and got to hang out in geek/goth/cosplay heaven. I've also not been wandering around alone, but I wake up feeling like I was showing someone around my dream world.

But last night, I ran around my childhood neighborhood avoiding some kind of demonic viking beast with a giant sword. I can clearly remember hiding behind a hill, and watching him behead someone, and the head rolling down the hill, WTF.

Back at my house, my birth mother was there, and we were not getting along, as usual. She had friends over (or were they women I used to dance with?), and one had stolen my car. This is actually something that might have happened in real life, as she 'ran with a bad crowd' as my grandfather called it. At some point, I was trying to avoid being abducted by some large men, and then I flew away at the end. So, not totally bad, but I woke feeling....not right, with that I didn't really sleep feeling, and spent the last few hours arguing with someone I really care about but just can't get along with. I swear it's like Prue on Charmed that time her astral self was bar hopping at night.

But I've had a very productive week (lots of work and cleaning my pigsty mostly), and I refuse to lose momentum, even though I'm getting a very late start today. I took today off to finish up tax stuff for tomorrow. So glad I did.

I'm still catching up with you all and with comments (as usual, I know). I hope everyone is having a good week! 
dancingdragon3: (tara_exhausted)
Well, I had to leave off the new sleep meds. I took a half dose Friday night, and again was in zombie mode all day on Saturday. Not nearly as bad as on Friday, I was able to get out of bed and to work on time in the morning, but I was still yawning....well, I never really stopped.

And I got another head ache, around the same time in the afternoon. This time it felt more like a sinus headache. I didn't think it sounded like a good idea to take prescription antihistamines without a currrent histamine issue.

Plus the meds made me feel....gross. Like I had taken party drugs the night before. So, bye bye. I'd much rather take my herbal meds than feel that way. 
dancingdragon3: (tara_exhausted)
Holy crap, y'all. I've never taken a prescribed sleep aid, and well, they work, that's for sure. This one isn't even designed for sleep. It's an antihistamine prescribed for anxiety. Name - hydroxyzine. (lovely list of scary side effects, like hallucination, involuntary muscle actions, and an allergic reaction I'm supposed to call 911 if it happens, but none of that happened last night, whew!)

I switched over from my herbal meds last night. Took the recc dosage 20mg (2 pills) at 10pm with dinner (fried shrimp with homemade cocktail sauce, steamed broccolli, harvarti cheese for dessert)

I was feeling it by midnight, in bed by one am (early for me). Alarm was set for 9 am, and I've been awake and doing stuff via my phone for a little while, but I'm just now able to get out of bed at 11:30 am, and I am still very uncoordinated, heavy eye-lidded, and foggy headed. I could easily lay back down and go right to sleep. But, at least they work! Yay! And with insurance, very much cheaper than the herbal meds.

Herbal sleep aide reccs - Luna by intranaturals and Sleep Support by Zen Wise labs. Both around 20 bucks on Amazon, and work well.

Today's my day off, and besides some adulting (AT&T argh!!!), live journal stuff is my number one goal. First, I need to make a list. Lists always help me when my brain isn't working right, lol. Getting in touch with those who have left comments on my email post is already on that list :-) So much love for you all xoxoxo

I will be watching 45 and Germany's leader Angela Merkel's press conference. Oh yes.

I hope all of you are having a lovely day. Happy Saint Patrick's Day to you who celebrate it!

Update: This could be better. 3pm - I now have a headache from trying to fight through the brain fog. Three cups of tea, two cigarettes, and a ginseng and I still can't walk from room to room without stumbling into something. I'm having trouble sitting up straight and holding my head up. But I am slowly making my way through my list. Definitely taking a half dose tonight, sheesh. 
dancingdragon3: (myka_geek)
The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Anxiety: Breaking Free from Worry, Panic, PTSD, and Other Anxiety Symptoms

This is a book I’ve been working with for a few years. It’s very well organized, and I can’t recc it enough as a good, accessible place to start on self therapy for a myriad of issues. It’s also very helpful to go back over, whenever I’m having a problem with a certain symptom - anxiety, nightmares, obsessive thoughts, etc. As long as I remember to go back to it, lol! DBT is a form of CBT - Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which has exploded over the psychology world the last decade or so.

Read more... )
dancingdragon3: (redhillwhiteshell)
Many thanks to everyone who has made me feel welcome back around here :-) I appreciate it very much.

I forgot to mention coloring as something I've been doing a lot of the last few months. It really is good as a mindfulness exercise and stress reduction. Besides being fun and creative :-) Marvel Friend and a co-worker friend both gave me coloring books and supplies for the holiday. Jack pot! Below the cut is the one I've mostly finished, a sketch of Deanna Troy from season one/two of ST-TNG (please keep in mind this is one of my first ever sketches!), and another pic of the snow yesterday that I took to use as a banner base.

Concrit on any and all of these is very welcome!

See artistic outlets... )
dancingdragon3: (tara_exhausted)
I just wanted to post and say that I'm kind of back, but slipping in very slowly. I'm still not caught up on all of you, but I want to get the mind space to do so very soon. The short of my present is that I am spending a lot of time studying, meditating, practising Cognitive/Dialectic Behavoral Therapy and yoga, and journaling. Lots of journaling. It really does a messy mind good, lol! And I'm at my job a lot more. And I've got a new hobby (sketching), and some new TV shows (Blunt Talk, Man in the High Castle, and Elena of Avalor).

I hope everyone is having a nice weekend :-)  I love you all.

An excitingly rare view from my apartment today...
dancingdragon3: (faith)
Fare thee well, my friends and loved ones. Think well of me...

Sigh. I had to pick up extra hours at work, so no day off today. And I'm going in earlier than normal. Double tomorrow, and a workshop all day on Sunday. I will probably sleep half of Monday. I may have to pick up hours Monday night. But that might lead to me yelling at one or more of co-workers, so maybe not, lol...

I went to kundalini yoga yesterday, and it was awesome as usual. And today, my arms, neck, and shoulders are very sore, so yay for evidence of hard work! I'm still behind on Lucifer, and unless I get a lot of cash tips this weekend, it looks like no 3D Doctor Strange for me :-/

I'm still having frustrating and disturbing recurring dreams every night. But at this point, I'm just glad Donald Trump doesn't appear in them. And the "house break-in" scene hasn't been in them. I may write about these, I may not. It would be loong ass post...

To people still waiting for banners...it's probably still gonna be awhile. I'm sorry. It looks like I'm going to be working more than usual for the next few weeks, and I have classes to take for work at the same time. So I know my head (or time) just isn't going to be there for a while longer :-/

 And that's my life, such as it is. I hope to get to some LJ posts and comments at some point today. I've been keeping up with reading them, just not commenting. Have a great weekend everyone! I love you all :-) 
dancingdragon3: (faith)
I suspect that political posts will be a constant from now on. I’ll keep them separate, and try to balance them with food and fun posts. Please, feel free to skip them with no guilt. I know a lot of you use LJ as an escape from the real world, and I do not blame you in the least. But I have always been into politics since birth I think, and this election has woken that part of me up like no body’s business. See my new journal header.

First - kittens!



Last night, I went to the biannual meeting of LGBT Democrats of Mecklenburg (that’s my county, Charlotte, NC). It was my first attendance, and I am very glad I went. Everyone was very nice and welcoming, and there were other new people, galvanized by the election, or being newcomers to the area.
Read more, watch George Takei.. )
dancingdragon3: (faith)
So, first [livejournal.com profile] orangerful posted some Joss Whedon pearls of wisdom, including an Angel quote - “We live as though the world is as it should be, to show it what it can be.” Which reminded me of the Ghandi quote - “Be the change you want to see in the world.” And also reminds me of the Buddhist saying - “Be a light unto yourself.”

Then [livejournal.com profile] black_sluggard recommended this for post-election listening:

Video: Fuck you - Lily Allen. Lyrics HD




Which is fantastic, and I listened to it while making my lunch - mushroom and cheese quesadilla, with salsa, sour cream, and spicy Chow Chow (pickled cabbage, onion, and red pepper, southern style). Then I watched BBC coverage of Britain and Europe’s reaction. Then I went to work, and it was a gorgeous, fall day today. Sunny, cool, bright, with colorful foliage and a brisk wind.
Read more... )
dancingdragon3: (eleven_tada)
Originally posted by [livejournal.com profile] milly_gal at Just Because!
Originally posted by [livejournal.com profile] stir_of_echoes at Just Because!
Originally posted by [livejournal.com profile] wings128 and I wanted to share, it should be shared, far and wide.

This! Yes! Don't know who this woman is, but I trust her and she makes me feels better/stronger. Hope it has the same effect on someone else. Please, share on....




dancingdragon3: (tara_exhausted)
I did it! And I'm sorry about the last emo post. As usual, what I thought I was upset about was only the surface issue, and what was really bothering me came up during the massage. My friend also did Reiki on me, and I had three emotional releases, and feel world's better. And I got the pics uploaded from dropbox, so yay. One is under the cut as a make sure test.

I may write tomorrow about what was really wrong, but now I'm gonna enjoy the rest of my day off. Thanks to everyone who chimed in with positive words!

Read more... )

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